Language matters

How we talk about suicide matters. If we use language that increases stigma around suicide or judges someone for feeling suicidal, it can make reaching out for help so much harder.

When we talk about suicide safely, people feel safe to share how they feel without fear of judgement or shame.

If you want to make sure that you’re talking about suicide compassionately, we have some pointers.

What you should and should not say

Negative perceptions

Do not say "commit suicide".

Suicide has not been a criminal offence since 1961, and referring to it this way can reinforce negative perceptions about people who have attempted or died by suicide.

Instead you could say "die by suicide" or "end their life"

Trivialising pain

Do not say things like "you've got so much to live for" or "think about how much pain it would cause for your family and friends"

These kinds of phrases can make light of the pain the person is feeling. It can make them feel guilty for feeling the way that they do.

Instead you could say "what you are going through sounds really painful and I am glad you told me"

Direct language

Do not say things like:

• “you’re not going to do anything silly, are you?”
• “are you thinking of ending it all?”
• “you're not going to top yourself, are you?”

Euphamisms and using avoidant language can disregard people's feelings. It is important to be direct.

Showing someone you are not scared to talk about suicide and that you would like to help can help them feel more comfortable and open up.

Asking questions like "you're not going to..." suggests you are asking a question with a preferred answer in mind. This can put pressure on someone to deny suicidal thoughts, even if that is not true.

Instead you should be direct, such as asking "are you thinking about suicide?"

Page last updated: 19 August 2025