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Dear Sirs by Rosie Miles

Dear Sirs, I will now be on holiday
hotel details enclosed) for a week.
My neighbour doesn’t want to take a key.
If necessary, you’ll just have to break
in, although the bolted UPVC
at the front may prove a real trial. The back
of the house is fine. Number 8 never goes away
and leaves the door ajar – I hear her talk
when I’m washing up – so if some local yob
gets through the six-foot padlocked gate, she’ll phone.
I’ve read that instances of smash-and-grab
are on the up in this part of town
but I still think you’re doing a great job.
Many thanks. P.S. I’m back at 4 the day I’m home.